Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

Yes, she is so fat she wears a blanket because nothing else fits her.

When I put “fat people” in the sub-title of this blog I was JK. But for seriously, the amount of posts that revolve around the morbidly obese would lead me to believe they do have their own orbits, because my god are they center of my average-sized universe. Grrrrrl, bitch bedduh don’t. After watching a series of youtube clips from the British Series Supersize vs. Skinny I declared I would eat healthier, right now I am having a mochachino and some kind of brownie with peanut butter and coconut, I can see how fat people get fat… food is delicious. But grrrrl you bedduh watch yo’self. Well I was led to this video which I can’t embed because youtube disabled it, but I will post screen caps. Read the rest of this entry »

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Many scholars accuse the Internet of facilitating the stupidity of human kind. But what technology does is simply exacerbate the schism between the dum dumz and those of adequate intelligence. It may not necessarily make smart people smarter, but it certainly allows the people who watched all 10 seasons of Friends to revisit Ross the coolest paleontologist ever, and my word O_Q was he married 3 times! That certainly makes for great comedy! If you think the spinach artichoke dip at the Olive Garden is the best you’ve ever had!

But more than anything, the Internet allows genetic farts that avoided getting social skills a glimpse of false hope. Some guy is marrying a video game character. Personally, if I were this disenfranchised from the world, I would marry myself because that would be more physiologically engaging.

The catch point about this game is that unlike usual dating simulations, the player has to take out the girl on dates and buy her stuff and all the things you would make your girlfriend happy in real life. The groom is now waiting for his wedding reception which will take place on November 22nd, 2009. I wonder what is next in the world of gaming?

Here is some more information about the game:

• The player has to increase their abilities by studying, working out and solving problems of their virtual girlfriend
• If you fail, the game will restart after 100 days
• Real time dating with your virtual girlfriend

*sigh* That’s all that a real relationship requires buying stuff! Weeee. This person isn’t even marrying a smart 2D girl. Whatever this guy is looking for he can find it in Long Island and according to Law And Order SVU, slavery isn’t really over. If there’s anything The Final Destination 3D  has taught us, is that, no matter how intellectually unstimulating, mediocre, and logically inconsistent something maybe, it is fucking AWESOME in 3D. You would think the same logic extends to people. Well it doesn’t, that’s why me and this guy kill them. Constantly.

I know, you’re scared… but intrigued. I’ll elaborate. [If you're using a reader click here to watch the video]

So apparently working out your chin can get rid of your neck waddles!  But neck waddles are just extra skin, that makes no sense!  These women aren’t even fat, just dumb for participating in this redonkulous commercial.

So, I’m taking this class on Pop-Culture theory. We read these esoteric texts about the relationship between commerce and art, mass production, etc. But we also spend a lot of time in class watching youtube videos and analyzing them in pertinence to the theories we read.

First we watched that^^^. Yeah, it’s boring as shit, but this was entertaining circa whenever the fuck it was before we invented the Internet. Then we watched this. Read the rest of this entry »