Now that conference week is over. Conference Week? What is it you ask? Well instead of tests or finals we have conference projects. These are basically art projects that we do so we don’t actually have to do work thesis papers that we work on all year as an independent study. I have been neglecting my mediocre unfunny beautiful blog because of it. But all is well now.

It’s official I am a college drop out. I have ended my days at Sarah Lawrence College and my roommateship with The Feminist Unicorn. Oh but don’t be weary, for I will be entering the work force for the next six months and let’s face it, it’s not going to be a “good job” and my coworkers aren’t going to be “intelligent.”

But let’s look back at the last 3 semesters and see what we have learned.

You Know Your Roommate is Crazy if:

• She cries in the closet
• She says she has a “delicate constitution”
• She eats hashbrowns 6 at a time
• She rips out her eyebrow hairs
• She smears shit on the toilet seat
• She is afraid to answer the phone
• She loves unicorns and pete wentz

You Know Your Roommate is Racist When:

• She calls you colored
• She calls you “a colored”
• She votes for Barack Obama to help the “colored rights”

You Know Your School is Too Liberal When:

• Everyone wears houndstooth scarves
• No one showers
• The boys have mantits from eating too much soy
• They only serve soy milk at the cafeteria
• Jewish girls have dreadlocks
• Jewish girls walk barefoot everywhere
• The rich overprivileged black kids talk about how hard life in the ghetto is
• the school slogan is “You are different. So are We.”

You Know You Hate Your School When:

• You start a blog to shit all over it
• Your writing teacher shits himself
• You make an emo boy cry at your birthday party
• You hide your candy from your fat ass roommate
• You hide yourself at the library
• You monotonously try to insert the phrase “I hate you” “You are crazy” into any conversation

I wouldn’t recommend Sarah Lawrence College to anyone unless I hated them. Seriously, there are plenty of better liberal arts colleges that don’t suck for significantly less money.

It’s the end of an era, now i can spend time writing and working and move onto a new school in the fall with a different flavor of annoying roommates.



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Posted: December 20th, 2008 under college, cookies, cunt, fat, feminism, friendship, generation x, liberal guilt, new york city, old people, rant, roommates, stupid people, unicorns, writing.
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