So my parents planned a trip to go to Atlantic City this weekend and they mentioned it to my Grandma and then she was all “I want to go too.” Which just made me think, grandma has a gambling problem. But deep down inside I always knew Bingo was a sin. Well, my parents obviously don’t want my grandma to go, because umm, why would they?

Old people have no problem imposing themselves, now I get it you’re soooo old that “you don’t got time for bullshit anymore,” because that’s what every old person in the world says. And perhaps the miracles of modern science have permitted you to live a little longer than you might have liked, so why not be an asshole?

But when people use the phrase “old people are just like children,” it is said without hyperbole. I don’t just mean senility. I certainly hope that because my grandfather went around mooning everyone when he was like 85 (I don’t know why I am speaking in the past tense he is still alive) I hope that doesn’t mean that he was flashing his asshole to folks in his youth.

What I mean is, everyone basically wants to be an asshole, deep down inside. Even if you’re a good person, you still kind of want to be rude or annoying or mean or sulk. The only thing that stops us is other people. You don’t want to look like a child to your friends, so you don’t. Insecurity is what keeps us civilized.

A kid gets to be a kid because he doesn’t know better and the old get to be kids because they do know better.

Because when you go to the store, the only store that has that special whatever that you like and you go out of your way to get it and when you finally get there and they don’t have it you want to scream “AWW FUCK” or just pout or smack something over for no reason at all.

But you probably wouldn’t, I mean, not unless you’re an asshole.

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Posted: August 20th, 2008 under family, just sayin', old people, rant, stupid people.
Comments: 2