It's all the same pipes and it's all the same AIDS

It’s 2009, so racism is technically funny. But racism couldn’t be funny if racist people weren’t funny. An “interracial couple” wanted to get married, but the judge refused to marry them because racially ambiguous people have hard  lives, especially in 2009 when they are often considered the more attractive group of people, but being beautiful is so hard. In this world where Caucasians use tanning spray, having an unclear ethnicity is trying on the soul. TRYING! AND TRIBULATIN!

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.”I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Does this guy marry all of his black friends? Isn’t polygamy illegal! ZINGO!

Most marriages since 1962 don’t last very long (that is fact). I am pretty sure the very definition of a white supremacist is someone who doesn’t want “a drop of coffee in his cream,” not mixing the races is kind of the fucking point. And by piles and piles of “black friends” he clearly meant, “dead carcasses of negroids he slaughtered after they tried to go number 2 in his bathroom.” No number 2 if you’re company, that’s weird! We’re not that close, facebook friend!

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.

You’re the groups! You is da’ groups, nigga! But in the end he was right, he did treat the couple equally, one was black and one was white and neither of them could get married.