Archive for October 14th, 2009

I wouldn't trust *MY* cock in her mouth

So this Australian lady was accused of providing “mouth school services,” on some dude driving a car. Well the car crashed and police found her with a 5 dollar bill smooshed in her tits and just “assumed” she was a “prostitute.” She says:

“It may have looked bad when police first arrived as my girls were hanging out all over the place. I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs so they probably just assumed I was a sex worker or something and he’d already paid me. But $5 is a bit cheap for a head job.”

It wasn’t the 5′er that gave it away, hunnay, it was your whole everything. No, I mean your WHOLE everything, not just the meth face.

I'm pretty sure this is how the movie Thinner started

Here are some more of her fabulous quotes:

“I was not sucking his dick – and it’s pretty obvious that wasn’t the case … you only have to look at the mark on my chest,” she said.

“Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it’s impossible that I’d be leaning over sucking his dick unless he is hung like a donkey or I’ve got a fucking rubber neck.

“If it was true I’d just cop it sweet and think ‘how embarrassing, I got caught sucking someone’s dick’ - but it is not true and that’s what is pissing me off.

“It didn’t happen like that at all – he was just going too fast.”

Say dick one more time! DICK! Well, either this guy has a donkey dick or the police were wrong. Believe what you want, but in the end we all know she just giving him a hand job.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.