Archive for October, 2009
My brother showed me this because he knows I don’t have a soul. v_v Just wait till she starts running!
She can run fine, it’s only when she stops that she does the funky chicken.
They really try to push this whole she “used to be beautiful” thing, that’s kind of, fucking offensive. She’s 1 in a million, but I bet the same thing happened to at least 1000 ugly people. I am sure there has to be some fetish culture for “dystonians.” That retarded voice on a technically not retarded person is making someone moist right now.
I’m sure her husband is ecstatic about this, notice he doesn’t say a fucking word in the whole video. Oh swells, you win some, you lose some… but mostly lose. She can always have a stable career as an exorcism body double.
This is the first draft of a paper for my pop-culture class. Read it and weep.
Britney Spears’ shaved head at face value only seemed culturally relevant because it was shocking, but the significance of one individual’s breakdown quickly became the metaphor of one culture’s implosion: celebrity culture. Britney Spears’ shaved head is culturally significant, because prior when we saw any other “celebrity starlet” bareheaded it was a symbol of strength. Sinead O’Connor, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore, (we’ll ignore that it’s problematic that a woman has to have male attributes to appear strong). These women were revered and admired, artists or dedicated actresses in fulfilling their roles, going against the grain of convention, a woman’s bald head—a celebrity woman’s bald head—meant that she transcended beauty because she didn’t need something that is a paramount part of femininity’s essence—long locks—to appear beautiful.
I know, you’re scared… but intrigued. I’ll elaborate. [If you're using a reader click here to watch the video]
So apparently working out your chin can get rid of your neck waddles! But neck waddles are just extra skin, that makes no sense! These women aren’t even fat, just dumb for participating in this redonkulous commercial.
It's all the same pipes and it's all the same AIDS
It’s 2009, so racism is technically funny. But racism couldn’t be funny if racist people weren’t funny. An “interracial couple” wanted to get married, but the judge refused to marry them because racially ambiguous people have hard lives, especially in 2009 when they are often considered the more attractive group of people, but being beautiful is so hard. In this world where Caucasians use tanning spray, having an unclear ethnicity is trying on the soul. TRYING! AND TRIBULATIN!
Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.”I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”
Does this guy marry all of his black friends? Isn’t polygamy illegal! ZINGO!
Most marriages since 1962 don’t last very long (that is fact). I am pretty sure the very definition of a white supremacist is someone who doesn’t want “a drop of coffee in his cream,” not mixing the races is kind of the fucking point. And by piles and piles of “black friends” he clearly meant, “dead carcasses of negroids he slaughtered after they tried to go number 2 in his bathroom.” No number 2 if you’re company, that’s weird! We’re not that close, facebook friend!
“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”
If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.
“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.
You’re the groups! You is da’ groups, nigga! But in the end he was right, he did treat the couple equally, one was black and one was white and neither of them could get married.