You're only sorry that you got caught, Rodell!

Today in shaking-my-head news Rodell Vereen got caught fucking a horse, again! In fact it wasn’t even like a new horse, it was the same horse. Awww, somebody’s in love. <3 He was filmed sexin’ Seabiscuit the horse named Sugar after the stable owner put in surveillance cameras when he got caught giving Sugar some sugar before.

Owner Barbara Kenley said she noticed several weeks ago that her 21-year-old horse Sugar was acting strange and getting infections.

She also noticed things in the barn had been moved around – dirt piled up and bales of hay stacked near the horse’s stall at her stables in Longs.

‘Police kept telling me it couldn’t be the same guy,’ Kenley said on Wednesday. ‘I couldn’t believe that there were two guys going around doing this to the same horse.’

That’s a good point Mrs. Kenley, but did you ever consider the fact that your horse might be a whooer. With a name like Sugar would it surprise anyone that she is easy? In elementary school my friend’s mom name was Cookie, she wasn’t a prude is all I’m saying.

After all the horse clearly has genital herpes…

[...]She staked out the barn and caught Vereen inside on Monday night, the chased him back to his truck and held him with her shotgun until police came.

‘He said he wasn’t there to do anything, and I said, “I know you were. I have you on tape.” And then he said he was sorry if he hurt me,’ Kenley said.

Kenley pointed out that she caught Vereen in 2007 as well, when she stopped by her stable on Thanksgiving Day and found him asleep in the hay by Sugar, with a mound of dirt and a stool behind the horse.

C’MAH! That sounds romantic. If a woman can fall in love with a piece of the Berlin Wall then this guy is clearly in heart with this horse. He spent THANKSGIVING with Sugar. That’s like the day where Pilgrims took advantage of Native Americans and won America the right to eat delicious turkey and cranberries in spite of any religious preoccupations. It’s an important day.

Look, I get it’s “weird” for “people” to “fornicate” with “animals” but the fact of the matter is there isn’t any consensual fucking in the wild. Animals aren’t cognitive or self-aware enough to consent to sexual acts. All mating in the wild is rape and rape can only exist when you have a concept of personal space or human rights or an actual mind to think with. This horse don’t know pineapples from rape. Hell, there are actual women who don’t know pineapples from rape.

The only “problem” I see here is property damage and trespassing and perhaps creating a new form of super-duper-hiv.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

3 Responses to “Stop Fucking Horses Mr. Rodell”