Dance for the massa

So this week I got a job with The Fund for the Public Interest. Basically one of those jobs you see on Craigslist: “WANT TO SPEND YOUR SUMMER MAKING A DIFFERENCE? AND EARNING UP TO $600/wk!”

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Now anyone’s first response would be: scam! And that’s what I thought, but with the recent slew of Nine Inch Nail’s last tour dates ever, I need money fast. So I quickly called up the place asking “DO U HAZ JAWBZ” and they did. They told me to come in the next day for an interview.

I googled the “Fund for the Public Interest” and the word “scam” there’s about 3 hits that come up. I wikipedia’ed the organization. Basically, a few years ago this do-gooder campaign was in violation of labor laws. They had their devoted little crusaders working 60 hour weeks and paid them less than minimum wage.

The people who wrote blog posts calling the Fund out for their shit made all of the same complaints, they were given an unreasonable quota and when they didn’t make it they were fired on the spot without pay. After a law suit the Fund is now required to pay all of it’s employees minimum wage for every hour they work.Which is like dur.

So here’s how this job works. You go to the interview all smiles and charisma. Of course after I had gotten the job I saw another interviewee walking out when I was, I asked if she had gotten it. She said: “They told me they’d call me back, but I used to be a boss so I know what that means.” Awwwkwaaard. Then she proceeded to read me her poetry for some reason. I ran to the nearest subway stop. Got out, (it was really my stop, but I needed coffee) of course she is walking back my way for no fucking reason and sees me. So I run away. Right.

Anyway, you come in the next day to shadow someone else who works there. It’s not surprising that aside from the two head field managers, every employee even the ones who have “seniority” have only been working there 3 weeks maximum. After memorizing some robotic “rap” that you’re supposed to tell everyone, they shove you out to the fancy parts of New Jersey.

Your requirement the first day of shadowing is to get one contributor. I got 2. The job is basically going door to door asking people to give money for some cause. After your first day of shadowing you have 3 days to make quota, quota is $120 in one day. If you make quota on one of your 3 days then you will become staff, as a staff member you have to make $600 a week. If you do this then instead of minimum wage you get paid $375 for that week, plus 30% of whatever you made over $600. If you don’t make the $600 quota you will be paid minimum wage instead, if you don’t make it two weeks you get fired.

See the thing is, it’s not a scam, if it was before it’s not now. It’s not a scam because there’s no deception. They tell you what you have to do upfront on the first day. Whether or not it’s reasonable is up for debate.

The problem with this job is that the hours are 1 to 10 pm mon-fri, with the commute it’s really 12-11 for me. Boo. Anyway, you’re expected to knock on 100 doors. 70% of the people won’t be home. 95% of the people you do talk to will slam the door in your face. 2% of the people who do humor you will give you money.

The people who do give are either so old they have no sense of what money is worth in 2009 or are upper-middle class liberals who’ll cut you a check for 100 bucks. One guy got a check for $1000.

The problem is, with the amount they pay the vast amount of people who work for the fund and with all the bonuses and shit, how is this money even going to any of these causes? The Fund is basically a non-profit lobbyist group. The “campaign” I’m working for is public health care.

I am pretty sure this whole thing is just to peddle money from old rich ladies. Anyway, let’s see how long before I quit.

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