Your kid goes to McDonald’s, gets a Happy Meal and of course, instead of digging in for the food he goes straight for the toy. He’s so excited, his smile is beaming, awww look at little Timmy, only to pull out a shiteous Kidz Bop CD with a lame ass cover of Gavin Fucking DeGraw.
Timmy says, “As if!” (Timmy is gay eccentric and would much rather have had a creepy chipmunks version of Lady GaGa)
TAMPA, FL — A new Happy Meal toy is causing outrage among some parents who think it is teaching their kids profanity.
Several parents around the country reportedly think a CD included in their kids’ meals contains a word usually considered to be the worst of all curse words.
The song in question on the “Kidz Bop” music CD is a Gavin Degraw cover song. One of the lyrics contains the word”looking,” but some parents feel it sounds more like the singer is saying the “f-word.”
McDonald’s insists there is no profanity in the song and the CDs will stay in Happy Meals.
Timmy is grateful, you have trained him well, he’s also Afro American, so he enjoys free shit even if he doesn’t really want it. He doesn’t know what to do with this strange CD because no one uses them anymore, so he places it in the microwave. Before he nukes it, you take it out and show him what a CD player is.
The generic, modern rock tunes, sooth your souls. You’re not a poser. You’re tired of all these fake ass bitches, mhmmm, grrrrl, we all know your tits are fake Cindy, stop fronting. Bodies don’t keep growing after 25, ho.
Listen here: I Don’t Want to Be – Gavin DeGraw, Kidzzzz Bawp Versh
But in the midst of your haterade fantasy you are taken ABACK! ABACK YOU HAVE GONE!
Was that?– It couldn’t be?!– Holy Moly!!! The ffffftt– you mustn’t say it, you’re a lady O_Q But your monocle cannot help but fall into your tea cup.
“TIMMY COVER YOUR EARS! COVER YOUR EARS! What world do we live in when we cannot even shelter our youngest children from such crassness?!”
Here is what the song is supposed to be saying:
I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind
I’m tired of fucking looking ’round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me
It does sound like fucking to me.
I Don’t Want To Be – Gavin DeGraw version
Dear Parents, your children have heard the word “Fuck” before. And if you’re upset that this song is teaching your kid to say “fuck” then either turn it off or stop relying on the fucking TV and radio to teach your kids how to speak properly.
I find it absurd that there are words you “can’t say.” That there are words that sound “bad.” Maybe I have trouble understanding that because I am a writer. I believe words have power and they do carry weight and history. But curse words, and I don’t mean racial slurs, I mean “fuck, shit, ass.”
I don’t understand why they are derogatory. I don’t understand why we just decided, you can’t say that! Fuck can mean so many different things that it’s meaningless. Shit is poop or used to express frustration, what’s wrong with poop and frustration? Ass is your butt? What’s wrong with your butt? The only thing I notice about these words is that they are all related to your naughty bits and nether regions. I should hope we move on from the archaic idea that our bodies are sinful. Christ.
You shouldn’t teach your kids not to say fuck, you should teach your kids to know when not to say fuck, sometimes saying fuck is appropriate like: Gavin DeGraw really fucking sucks.
And even if you don’t want your kids to curse ever, hearing the word should not offend his sensibilities and shatter the bubble that he lives in. I understand protecting your kids and not raising them as animals, but the only way your kid will make the conscious choice to behave like a human being is when he is aware that the world is filled with savages as well.
Is it weird for little kids to go around cursing? Yes it’s weird. Is it inherently wrong? No, I don’t think so. Is it bad for them to hear curse words? No, that’s how people fucking talk, who cares?
I was walking through a zoo once and there was a sculpture about knee high of two bear cubs wrestling. A boy child not much bigger than the sculpture pointed and said, “Mom what are those bears doing?” The woman took one look, turned beet red and grabbed her child’s arm and pulled him away “Johnny, don’t look at that filth” (I paraphrase of course). I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Johnny’s mother looked at me like i was Satan incarnate and found the nearest zoo attendant to tongue lash. Poor attendant.