Archive for May, 2009
Drugs ARE natural... they come from Coca leaves, bro
Red Bull’s new cola (because they need to turn their shit chemicals into other shit chemicals) is being banned in Germany. Why you ask? Well, my dear, scientist found traces of cocaine in the drink. SHOCKING NEWS!!!!!!! There’s more bad shit in already bad shit?! WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?
The [Health Institute in the state of North Rhine Westphalia] examined Red Bull Cola in an elaborate chemical process and found traces of cocaine,” Bernhard Kuehnle, head of the food safety department at Germany’s federal ministry for consumer protection, told the German press on Sunday.
According to this analysis, the 0.13 micrograms of cocaine per can of the drink does not pose a serious health threat — you’d have to drink 12,000 L of Red Bull Cola for negative effects to be felt — but it was enough to cause concern.
But NO ONE in the whole history of ever would ever DAAAAARRRRR[e] drink that much…
Cybersexxin'
Every new generation is believed to be stupid by the previous. But my lord, I’ve said this, time and time again, how much more blatant silliness done for the sake of irony can we take? We’ve come so far as a culture that we can only look at the past from a snarky, witty, mocking standpoint. I struggle with whether that is good or bad.
I don’t think Oxford is trying be ironic… but haysoose maria, these words a silly. You’d think words would have to be used frequently enough to be entered into the Dictionary, but I haven’t heard a lot of these.
- Blamestorming – n. A method of collectively finding one to blame for a mistake no one is willing to confess to. Often occurs in the form of a meeting of colleagues at work, gathered to decide who is to blame for a screw up.
I guess being a shady-ass-scumbag-clique was too long of a compound word. Not so much that this is the choice of words, but the fact that a word has to be created to encompass the true essence of “douchey office politics,” is kind of fucked up. Maybe now that a word exists for it they’ll be less “blamestorming” ? I fuckin’ doubt it…
Imagine, ladies, going to the bathroom and pooping out a baby! Hurray the miracle of life! Well, you thought your joy of releasing bodily waste and child birth couldn’t be combined, meet: this bitch!
She goes to the bathroom and three minutes later she had a baby! Hurray! While I understand the idea that you can be pregnant without any of the symptoms, without gaining weight, hormonal changes, your pregnancy test reads negative, no morning sickness… I find it difficult to believe that you do not feel a CHILD. A living BABY in your uterus.
I feel as though I would notice if there was some sort of rodent who took up residence in my vagina. Even in the event that she didn’t believe she was pregnant she must of noticed something was up beforehand.
Matthew McConaughey movies are terrible, we all know this. So I decided to make my own movie trailer, comic strip thingy. And go!
Rated R for Retarded Babies