Vampires are aboreal creatures
This fucking retarded perfectly stable, 13-year-old boy bit 11 students claiming that it was because of the movie Twilight. You know the movie where the vampires sparkle shimmer in the daylight.
How fucking stupid poetic.
According to the report, the boy bit a 13-year-old female student on the right hand at a track meet on March 13. McCombs Vice Principal Connie Sloan investigated the incident and found that the boy had bitten 10 other students.
When police contacted the boy’s father, he said that his son didn’t mean to hurt anyone and that he was biting other students because of the movie “Twilight.”
Now maybe this kid really has rabies and his dad is just covering up for him.
But it’s not simply that this male homo sapien saw Twilight and thought, “Das how imma git me sum mad pusseh, bitin’ on bitches.” It’s the fact that he bit 11 people and only 1 of them even thought to tell a teacher about it.
These fucking dummies probably all saw the movie too, “Johnny bit me, am I pregnant now? Can I get AIDS from a Vampire? HOW IS BABBY FORMED?!”
11 people, Johnny needs put to sleep.
11 people, Johnny doesn’t need charged with man-slaughter, I think he clearly deliberated.
Johnny thought he was really a vampire and he thought that this is how he could Columbine the school. But if he turned them all they would just have to be on his side! Hurray!
Or maybe his dad was wrong, maybe he saw the Lost Boys.
So I leave you with, the aptly retarded, aptly appropriately redundant song.
Well shit, this kid broke my record of post-Twilight vampire bites.
Shitty movie that was fun to laugh at in a large audience.
Did this kid think he was a vampire simply because he watched the movie?If thats the case then we’re all already fuckin vampires and he need not bite anymore.
LMAO!! I just read the title and started laughing!! That kid is an asshole! and wtf? why won’t these kids just twitter that someone bit them????