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    February 2009
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    For some reason and maybe I am the only person who thinks this way, I don’t really like it when you go to a store frequently enough for them to know what you’re gonna order.

    Here is why:

    Clerk: How are you?

    Me: Good, I’ll have the– [The guy completely talks over me, he doesn't actually care how I am.]

    Clerk: Mocha latte no whip cream.

    Me: Me–

    Clerk: Medium

    Of course I don’t actually need the guy at Dunkin Donuts to humor this meaningless banter, but it’s just that I don’t want that drink every time. The few times that I ask for anything else they look at me with shock and disappointment. Do not make me ashamed of not being so fucking predictable, some times I like a little ice in my latte, jeezus.

    Moreover, I was over at S’Mac the gourmet Mac N’ Cheese joint in New York City. Delish. My friend works around there and I go there often enough. No one knows my order, but recently a girl that I went to high school with started working there. I don’t know her name and she doesn’t know mine, (she was in the grade above me) she recognized me and so I said we went to school together, etc.

    Every time I go in there, which is far too frequent for any human to be eating Mac N’ Cheese, she gives me this “oh you again,” look, not as though she doesn’t like me, but the oh wow, you’re a fat ass.

    “Do you live around here, cause our school was pretty far from here.” Nope I live in a different borough completely, for you non-new yorkers that’s kind of like living in a different county.

    Do not make me ashamed of loving delicious Mac N’ Cheese, that is just rude.

    Another incident happened where, I went to S’Mac at around 10pm. I figured it was still open. The lights are dim there is a guy sweeping the floors, but no one is around. I ask the sweeper “are you guys still open.” He nods his head. I say there is no one behind the counter. He keeps pointing back, back into the kitchen, I ask if he wants me to go back there he says yes. The guy is Mexican and doesn’t speak English.

    I go back, back into the kitchen, he points further. Why would I even go, I am a dummy? He could be pointing to my imminent death, but he seems nice, so whatever. I yell “hello” then go back out front.

    The girl comes out with a large knife thinking I am going to murder her. She left the door open and the Mexican thought I was her sister. /shrug

    Just post your open/closed ours out front, jeeze.

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