Some time ago, I made this post about Lori Beth Denberg. I thought it would be funny, because she is so obscure and irrelevant, to say she is dead. I thought it was obviously a joke. Just look at this video montage.
Even though I posted this months ago, I still randomly get emails and comments from people yelling at me because I insulted the honor of Lori Beth Denberg, because they really need to know if she is dead, because she is most obviously an important cultural-historical-social figure in the year 2009.
Some say, “What would Hay-sus do?” I say “What would a fat, irrelevant, unfunny childstar do?” and apparently lots of people say this too.
But moreover the thing is, right after I posted this post, someone sent me an email with a website saying she was actually stabbed dead. Of course I felt like an asshole, but that obscure website was the only one making the claim, not that there are any actual websites that would so much as mention Irrelevance Personified in the form of a Fat Bitch.
In fact I’ve spread this propaganda to the extent that there is a yahoo answers page on it.
But the truth is I do not know if Lori Beth Denberg is alive or dead? She is certainly dead in all of our minds and we only ever chose to remember her when we thought for a second that she might be physically dead.
What I am trying to say is… I don’t really care. But what I am really trying to say is I declare January 11th Lori Beth Denberg Day. Because whether she is truly alive or dead is irrelevant, but why not take a moment to remember the one mediocre, fat, fat bitch that somehow managed to get on television and into our hearts. Even though no one ever liked her because she was so fat. v_v
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Lori’s last performance was during 2006 for 18 Fingers of Death!, a martial arts mock-umentary. Wikipedia also cites her as being 32 years old and alive, despite the unfortunate stabbing incident which may or may not have occured. On that note, here is a brief message for NationMaster.com – pwnt, biatch.
I hear she’s living a private life in North Hollywood!
She aint a fat bitch, so what when people are overweight. You have no respect in people, you ratialtard. Lots of people love lori beth. Shut up. She is living privately. : ()
Your jealous cause people hate u and love her.
Why in the fuck do you hate Lori Beth. My god. If I met you Id kill you.
ur stupid, u deleted those messages, cause u didnt likem. so sensitive. mother fucken bitch
My darling, Lori Beth was funnier than most of your blog posts are.
L. B. has been in several hit movies and TV shows. Which ones have you been in? WHO is irrelevant here?
this was poorly written, but i think it is funny to try and take a shot at lori beth denburg. she is an easy target and im surprised it wasnt done before. but as u can see no one likes u to mess with an american sweethart, even if we havent heard from her in a while!! lol
what a load of crap.
lori beth is sooo hot
Well this post has pretty much confirmed that I’ll never come to this site again. I don’t even like Denberg, really – I was just watching Dodgeball, decided to google her name and this was one of the first things that came up – but man.
At least What Would Tyler Durden Do mocks celebrities in a clever way. This is just some dude being a total asshole.
wOw! How do you have the time to make a video, post blogs, AND make up the fictional death of someone who you “hate” and think so negatively of? Seriously I would hate to live your life!
Wow…so ignorant, asshole you have the nerve to sit here and post this bullshit. Bitch obviously you have no life. You probably did this thinking it would be funny well its not. that is so childish. I wish I knew where you were I would leave my nice Jersey home find you and kick ya motha fuckin ass!
ur stupid…faaaaar faaaar faaaar from funny, just rude. so damn pitiful…ur life must suck.
your a fucking dirt bag.
Asshole.
Lori Beht Denberg is Alive for real.
wowwwwwwwwwww.. what an ass holee.. u really think thats funny.. i find it funny how u think this is hilarious.. u really think that saying someone is dead is funny.. how do u think her fucking family feels about that.. u must have such a pathetic life.. u mustv been soooooo cool in high school :/ have fun making fun of other people that u dnt know because u probably have no friends
and ur probably fat too.. BITCH (btw this is probably old but people just started talking about it in my town)
oh.. i guess this wasnt that old…
All i have to say is that you are an insensitive basterd and should go fuck yourself. it is in bad nature that 1 being is so heartless that they would “MAKE UP” such a story for humor not onlu does it prove you as untalented but also unintelligent and was raised by a… (without being offensive)brain dead hiena. you may not believe this but karma is a bitch and when she comes she hits hard. death is not a joke and should not be used lightly. Oh and lori beth is way more important to people then you think. you are entitled to an opinion when you stay behind the line going over it only makes you an ASS!!!! With much love, a Lori Beth FAN.
You sir are a prick!
You sir are a an ass!
woww your such a low life bitch you must really care that yu took time to make a fckin bloq about her .
Thank you so much for bringing my “condition” to everyone’s attention.
Srsly. Epic fail on your part.
I’ve learned in most cases when people have a “fat-phobia” [which you obviously do] it’s because they’ve known one particular fat, disgusting fuck in their life. So was it you, or your mother?
Stop talking shit about celebrities. She’s done more with her life than you ever will. You’re even sadder than Perez Hilton. And, damn. That’s sad.
to Smarter than you:
I know this is way past the point but say she was in several hit movies is a fallacy. The one major motion picture she was in was Dodgeball. THe two other films were “Good Burger” a random Nickelodean movie and a kung fu parody, “18 Fingers of Death!”
Her career and work is irrelevant to the advancement of film as an art.
Im Lori’s number 1 fan, im an easy target too, dosnt mean she diserves to be rumored. low lif son of a bitch you are. I love you lori beth forever.
: )
life not lif
Lori beth, email me anthonylingard15@yahoo.com
Im 16 by the way
Kill yourself, Anthony, and join me.
I would LOVE to meet my #1 fan (in heaven, where I am right now)
why do you hate fat people so much? do you have any idea how much talent and hard work and emotional strength it takes to get ANYWHERE in ANY industry (especially entertainment) if you’re fat? um, it’s practically impossible, since it’s the one prejudice that’s still considered totally acceptable. you may think you’re the shit now, but when you finally grow up (let’s give you until age 50 or so) and realize everyone hates you because you act like a child and you’re a total dick, you might want to take this shit back. oh, and i bet you’re also hella ugly. and probably racist.