Archive for December 13th, 2008

So, Fatty Patty and I are talking about nonsense. We’re talking about how she literally used to be a wiccan, forced herself to listen to slipknot (so people would think she is hardcore) would dye her hair with koolaid and thought being called a vampire was a compliment. None of this is surprising, but hearing her confirm her crazy is just so satisfying.

Now let us digress: So, I’m making cookies the other day. Dough is on the table. “I’m going to eat your cookie dough” ho proceeds to put her hands in the bowl of cookie dough and eat it. The audacity of some bitches.

Anyway, I’m eating a hashbrown, while we are talking I put the hashbrown down on a plate. Fatty Patty proceeds to inch closer and closer… closer and closer… I know what she’s thinking. She’s talking at me, closer and closer, now she is behind me.

I say: “What are you doing?”

She pauses. “Are you going to eat that?” she grabs my hashbrown and nomnomnoms like a lolcat in heat.

You leave your food unguarded for 30 seconds and a Fatty Patty will attack. Every time I write a post about how this bitch is crazy, Angelina Jolie gets pregnant.

Also, you should watch this.

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