I get back to my dorm on Tuesday after a weekend of being home. I see an empty tub of cookie dough, half a bottle of smirnoff vodka (the big bottle) a box of eaten caramel chocolates and a plastic bag full of candy and potato chip wrappers. Fatty Patty has herself a time when I am gone, apparently.
Before continuing to read, please watch this b-movie trailer, so you can understand just exactly how I perceive, Fatty Patty.
Fatty Patty: I don’t know if I should tell you this…
Sassy: What? (Oh god yes, I don’t have anything to blog about, God yes!)
Fatty Patty: I ummm, I pulled like half of my eyebrow out…
Sassy: What? (God. Yes.)
Fatty Patty: I don’t know if I want to show you. *Pulls up the bangs of her hair*
Sassy: :O! oh my god… (Half of her eyebrow is gone)
Fatty Patty: You know like when you get the bad habit of doing something.
Sassy: …
Fatty Patty: I just got the habit of pulling my eyebrow hairs out, like 3 or 4 months ago
Sassy: Wait a minute… you mean with your fingers?
Fatty Patty: Yah.
Sassy: You’re crazy. (not in the funny haha since, you should be institutionalized.)
Fatty Patty: No, it’s like, I had this big crazy stray hair and I just kept pulling at it.
Sassy: … (crazy)
Fatty Patty: No, I know it sounds crazy but it’s actually not. It was just a stray hair, but then they just kept growing in curly, so I would keep pulling them out, but after a month or so I didn’t realize that I had pulled half my eyebrow out, see that’s not crazy.
Sassy: … riiiiiiiiight. (how have you not killed yourself yet by accident?)
Fatty Patty: I keep pulling my hair out. (on her head) I think I’m getting a bald spot. You know, I just keep pulling my hair out if it feels dead.
Sassy: … OK
Fatty Patty: I’m not crazy >=/.
Sassy: Yes you are.
Fatty Patty: *Sadface*
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Fatty Patty has much in common with Whoopie Goldberg, well at least when it comes to yanking out eyebrow hairs, cookie dough, and vodka. I don’t know about the rest of it.
I honestly shouldnt get the joy I get out of reading these posts about patty, also that trailer made me queasy, I am so gay -_-
that’s pent up lesbian rage manifesting itself.
omg, that story doesnt lose its lol value everytime I read it.
Awww.. The brunette was kinda cute! Why did Cassie have to kill her? And keep Fatty Patty, the content she generates is great!
Wow. Front row seat to this mess and everything and yet you’re willing to give up this fucktard for???? Face it. FP is your muse, your inspiration…..your retard in the closet.
Don’t forget to mention to FP that god has blessed her with not one but two eyebrows, an over grown pubey gash and gorilla pits. I’m going to go throwup now.