AT LIFE!!!!!

Jesus Christ. Whenever I want to enter a writing contest, I always google the motherfucking magazine to see what other people think about it. I like to know what I am gettin’ into. So, Narrative Magazine is having a fiction contest, I write fiction! Weeee, sounds like just the thing for me.

I google Narrative Magazine and find all these angry writer blogs about how the magazine is basically douchey, they lie about numbers boasting 40K subsribers, when in fact this blog gets more hits a day, they sell emails, etc. But they’re giving away cash prizes. $$$CASH$$$!!!!!

But then you read the stories and they are all slice of life boring, bullshit stories. Of course I don’t really write like that. Also they charge a twenty dollar reading fee. Anger fills me.

So, should I just assume all theses angry bloggers are just crotchety, crappy writers, with jaded sensibilities because they suck? Or should I learn from their mistakes and save twenty bucks?

In other news Brad Garret is a douche nozzle and physically assaults the Paparazzi. Seen Below!

Brad Garret always just seemed like a lame, asshole in general. You know, that guy who kind of hates himself, he can’t stop talking about how much his life sucks, but you know more often than not it’s because he makes shitty decisions, then he can’t stop bitchin’ about how he makes shitty decisions, then he cries and you have to put vodka in his baby bottle so that he’ll tucker himself out. But if you tell him he’s a douche he gets all defensive about being a douche even though HE JUST SAID he was a douche himself.

What a douche. And my god, his shitty show, what is it called? Everybody Loves Raymond II: The Exponentially Mediocre Years.

I’ve never seen the show, but lemme guess? He has a wife? Oh, is she a bitch? But she’s a bit of a firecracker too, isn’t she? She doesn’t let him and the boys watch football? He should be spending time with the kids instead?! Look, the kids can watch football too! WHAT IS THAT? A KID HOLDING A CAN OF BEER! OMG! That is comedy! But you know he loves her and the kids, anyway. He just don’t like them periods.

Now, maybe I made up a whole show just to get mad it. But maybe, just maybe, I could give a shit about my readers.

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Posted: November 13th, 2008 under blogs, old people, pop culture, rant, stupid people, writing.
Comments: 1