Here’s what you don’t do.
I say let’s order Indian Food, so we do. There’s two of us, me and you fatty patty. I go and get the food, and it comes out to 35 bucks without the tip, you had already given me ten and when I return with said food and say it was a bit expensive, you give me another 5 bucks. That’s fine, I still paid for most of it, but sure it’s fine. The gesture is acceptable and even unnecessary. Noted and appreciated.
So where did this go wrong? Maybe this is just me, maybe I am the asshole. But we live in a sweet which is an apartment style dorm with three rooms. Fatty Patty and I share a room, there are two freshman girls in another and the R.A. in the last.
After we eat, I put my food away in the fridge to save for later. Patty leaves the room. A couple of minutes go by and I go into the kitchen and I see the lid of my container on the counter… How is this possible? I did not recall putting this lid here. I look in the refrigerator, my food is gone.
I ask fatty patty what has happened and: “Oh well I offered the freshman our leftovers.” Well, I think it’s interesting that my food was the only food that was eaten. The problem isn’t that I am cheap, the problem is that you didn’t ask me first if you could volunteer something that is mine. Moreover, I am cheap, because I don’t have a lot of money. And you know this. And if this were the first time that you volunteered my shit then it wouldn’t be such a big deal.
But the day before yesterday we go food shopping like grownups and afterward, we both say, “wow food is expensive and we hardly bought anything.” As soon as we go back to the room, Fatty Patty unbeknownst to me calls up all of our friends, like six of them over. “We’re going to cook for you.” What.the.fuck.
“You have chicken, right?” Yeah good, ask me that (because you’re a vegetarian) right in front of them so that I can’t say no.
This is probably going to sound like I am a little baby bitch. I don’t mind sharing, if I have enough to share.
I can’t afford to be nice for the sake of being nice, when I have no money. And you don’t have any money either, I guess that’s why it’s so easy to share MY shit.
Stop it! Stop it because you know better, stop it because the day before I told you how I don’t go around using people’s shit with out asking first because I think it’s disrespectful. Stop it because you told me in that very conversation that you know you annoy me 90% of the time and stop it because you said that even if I tried to stop being friends with you, you’d follow me around anyway.
Just stop it.
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You’re in the right…fat people don’t understand the concept of leftovers…for them, there is no such thing…but yeah…i’m broke as fuck too…someone touches my chicken from two nights ago, they’re losing some fingers
sounds like it’s gonna be a long semester! I hope those freshman start cooking for her back.
it’s only just the start of such irritations for you. you’ve got a good 10 years more on the average. sucks but…whatever. gotta go through it unless you luck out. makes it all the better when you finally have no more roomies.
in the meantime play some nasty passive aggressive pranks.
love your writing…
Wade
How odd that FP only gave away your food….I think you need to be very specific with feedback to her by plainly stating that your container of food which you paid for was not hers to give away.
Also, I suspect that FP has fogged your brain by making you watch her eating too much candy – why? You live in a suite not a sweet.
Cheers
I don’t like Fatty Patty one bit.
Kill her dead. Kill her dead now.
Save the planet, save the cheerleader. Kill her dead. Make her so dead that dead would say she’s dead.
…..this just in…..Websters has just added a two new words, “Unngnnh and FuckCunt”.
AH HA, you live with a dumb freshman! Your suite sounds sweet but my recommendation is leave. There’s someone better who needs a roommate. Find Them. And stop playing Friend w/ FP. It’s not fair to either of y’all.