Archive for September 4th, 2008
Which one is the boy and which one is the girl? Which one is the lezboticon and which one is the faggotron ?! Who knows… This is really random, I know… but I’m jussayin’.
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I went to a party last night. And of course since the total number of students at my school is about 12, any party on campus is 4 people and a can of beer.
So I am trying to be social even though everyone is antisocial and go to this “party” with Fatty Patty. Fatty Patty’s friend Asian-Queer is the one throwing it and of course since he is a fag all of his friends are black girls.
Now if you recall this post, you might remember The Scribe. Well, The Scribe is there with her crew of Strong Black Women and of course all she can talk about is being black. In fact, the first thing she says to me is that “I am surprised we haven’t met because I done chased down all the black people on campus.” I am not an angry negris black, but I didn’t correct her.
Then she goes on to say that she spent her summer doing revolutionary things like going door to door sellng health care solving world hunger with a magic donut that turns into a kfc if you microwave it on high for 3 seconds. (I am not making any of this up, she said all of this!) She says her dad objects to her love of Malcom X and that she wants to die being assassinated while giving a speech at a podium, someone should tell her she is a stupid bitch. I would but I was too busy pretending to give a shit so that I’d have something to write about.
Well the plus side of The Scribe is that she hates Fatty Patty. Fatty Patty was so intimidated by The Scribble, that all Fatty Patty could do was talk about how white she was and then say, “She [The Scab] thinks I am so white.” Fatty Patty was so insecure in her whitness because there were like 4 browns (which is all of the browns on campus and of course there were white people there, but Fatty Patty is just so huge in mass that she believes she is the center of the fucking universe.)
So Fatty Patty keeps saying that The Scabes is making fun of her, when she actually isn’t. And of course I bring it up today and said “You were making that up, that she was making fun of you.” And her mind exploded because it did not make sense to her that this took place:
Fatty Patty: You’re making fun of me!
The Scandinavian: …
Fatty Patty: OH MY GOD SHE WON’T STOP
The Scary Butter Knife: Like I was saying, I’m a Revolutionary, I reuse condoms in order to conserve energy…
Fatty Patty: MAKE HER STOOOOOP *fetal positions*
In other news, college internet is ballsongna. Booooo.
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