School is starting September first. Some of you may be familiar with Fatty Patty the Feminist Unicorn. I’d remind you but the memories only come to me in flashes like night terrors and are normally only triggered by hash browns and women with unshaven legs.

Well, as you may or may not know, every plan or way to edge away from this bitch was an epic fail so I will be returning to the shit hole that is my blatantly homosexual Artsy Fartsy Over Priced hippie bullshit Liberal Education as Fatty Patty’s roommate. *shutters*

This is what I get from her on my facebook “wall.”

What time are you planning to get to school? Because I can’t get a room key until after I register, and i’d rather not lug my bags around campus while i do that. So if you’re there, i can get into the room and then go do registration.

See you soon, roomie.

Okay,  now if you are reading this Fatty Patty, through some cosmic force that somehow led you to this website, how do you think it is okay to say this?

My problem is this: How can you be so oblivious to the fact that perhaps maybe I have some luggage as well and don’t want to lug it around on campus either because I have to register first as well. That perhaps we are all human beings that don’t like to be inconvenienced.

No of course, I don’t expect her to get there early so that *I* don’t have to lug my bags around. But I think it’s a bit inconsiderate and presumptuous to ask that of me and even if you had this master plan, keep that shit to yourself like a good evil genuis, you stupid fucking fat cunt.

I really don’t get it. I mean, “There’s this land mine right in front of us and *I* don’t want to get blown up so could you be a dear and walk across Cambodia first, thanks XOXO.”

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. daihaiofhaiohoqhr91390owin ql************#####@$@(#$@($&@(#

Anyway. I’ve decided that I will destroy her. I will destroy her for three weeks then I will apply to have my room changed when we are allowed to apply to have our room changed (after three weeks obviously).

See, when you are destroying someone, it’s really the little things. I could call her fat. But she’d just think, “well I am fat :(” and then cry with a bucket of hash browns and reeses pieces (and get more fat). But I decided the best way to destroy her, is to destroy me. Simply because she has no friends, she has no one.

I was the only one that “understood” her and if I change the whole world changes- her whole world changes because there isn’t a single person left for her to “connect” with and the world is really just a sad sad place where puppies grow up to be dogs who grow old and die.

And it all starts with a slutty red dress.

For More Creative Forms of Hate Click Here For Roommate Blues 1 and 2

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Posted: August 26th, 2008 under fat, feminism, friendship, rant, roommates, stupid people, unicorns.
Comments: 4