So I stole mascara from Rite Aid. YOU GOT ME! But I swear pharmacies are basically designed for you to steal, they practically want you to steal. Of course while you’re stealing it you’re paranoid as fuck, but you feel kind of cool, but once you get out the store you feel like a piece of shit. Like, really, I needed THIS? Do my eyelashes look that bad?

The worse part is while I was stealing the mascara, I actually took the time to stand in line, buy a box of Nutrigrain Bars, Cheez-it brand party mix and a box of chocolate covered cherries and please note that the cost of these three items combined + tax did not equate to the Maybelline New York XXL Curl Power Volume and Longueur Mascara Microfibre, that is one very long name, but not as long as my fabulous lashes!

Might I add that the most efficient way to steal is via buying something first just saying. And as your “perusing” around the store carry said product in your hand and slowly peel the bar code off, then as your picking up the item you are really going to purchase you stick the bar code on the shelf. Just sayin’.

I mean, I’m not clepto so don’t judge me! (Not anymore, anyway!) This is the first time I’ve stolen anything since the 8th grade, I mean my friend once stole a Dora the Explorer set of mittens for me, but I took no part in that.

But let’s face it I learned from my parents. Who after shopping at K-Mart or Target, after spending a couple hundred dollars on shit appliances, felt ENTITLED to steal. They would go to the freezers and drink sodas then toss the bottles and as we were exiting the store if there were boxes stacked of anything they would just grab one. That’s how we got our vacuum!

Parents, teach your kids some values, jeeeeze!
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