Archive for August, 2008
Packing is for phillipinos and ESL latinos, I am neither ones of those and yet… here I am…. I hate packing. But at the same time I enjoy it. It’s like, how the fuck did I get so much shit? And why the fuck would I think that I need to save every shoebox I’ve ever had and the stuffing from gift bags because “oooh these ones are extra nice.”
Yeah, but I might need this for a rainy day, because apparently when it rains I am all of a sudden overcome with this strange urge to do arts and crafts… riiiiiiight. Saving shit feels like you’re not being wasteful, but you’re actually wasting a shit ton of space.
I have homework assignments from Junior High and hand-outs from High School in case I need to cross reference when exactly it was that Columbus first came to the Americas… how fucking stupid.
People act like saving shit is this extraordinary, righteous thing to do. I remember going to the Chinese restaurant, now, now, Chinese food is fucking disgusting we know this, relaaaaax. Anyway, they give very large portions and I remember being with my friends in high school, probably around 15 years old and I would eat my food and throw the rest away and to this I would get the response:
“WhaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat are you doing? You’re wasting sooooo much food AND MONEY. MY GOD YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH. I HATE YOU. DIE. I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE RIGHT NOW, YOU BITCH. You’re such a bitch… I hate you… I’m gonna find your family and slit each of their throats one by one… one by one until there’s none…”
It’s not like I’m going to the supermarket, buying a loaf of bread and using each slice to wipe my asshole. Now that would be wasting food. If I could somehow save the remnants of my wonton soup and ship them over to Darfur I probably wouldn’t because I am lazy I would.
Moreover all these dumb hos cuffufin’ at me about leftover chicken bones are the fattest fucks. America hates wasting shit so they eat it all. Then we have a bunch of whiny Fatty Patties running a muk.
Throw shit away, we should all just throw shit awaaay.
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Lindsay Lohan’s 45-year-old tranny uncle is still posing as her little sister. *Sigh*
While I understand that Twinkies contain a many preservatives and are plenty delicious, using the cream filling as beauty cream so that you can beguile the world into thinking you are middle-aged little girl, is just scary Uncle Ali.
Just plain scary. Please stop. And please stop singing horrible “hip-hop” songs.
You’re from Long Island, please stay there.
But I suppose is not your fault considering that Dina Lohan (a.k.a. The Supreme Master of Long Island and Madam C. J. Walker’s Orange Tan, Yes I Can, Beauty For White Bitches™ ) probably won’t let you quit.
Being paid in Twinkies and Lip Gloss isn’t so bad though. I mean lip gloss is cool right, there is nothing weird or stupid about saying, hey this part of my body needs to be ESPECIALLY SHINY.
And don’t worry all that jewelry around your neck only makes you YOUNGER, BEAUTIFULLER and they totally hide your tit implants.
Thanks for existing so that we all feel a whole lot better about our lives. Whereas The Jonas Brothers are a sign of the apocalypse you are a sign of my self-respect. <333
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I just saw Nine Inch Nails, the best show of my life. And whether or not you like them (him), my lawdy you must all bask in the amazin’ that is NIN Live. The concert is not just a show, it’s an experience. There are so many magics, sooo many. LED Screens all up and everywhere, coming from the sky and whatnots…
We got VIP tickets from the presale off of nin.com, that were about 1/3 of the price you would pay on ticketmaster and they were general admission standing in an arena venue. We were right up front XD. There is no point in this post other then conveying my superfluous love of Nine Inch Nails.
Here is a picture taken by their photographer, Rob Sheridan of tonight’s show.
The picture is hardly even a taste of the awesome, awesome, did I mention awesome show. Sorry, if I am rambling I have not come down from this strange sense of Euphoria that you apparently get from being punched in the kidney by a drunken, middle-aged “I used to be goth, but the man made me conform” asshole, combined with being in New Jersey.
Christ they played for almost 2 and half hours…. 31 songs…. Aces 10 !!!!!!!
Well anyway there are more pictures here, also NIN’s latest album The Slip is completely free so you have no excuse to not listen to it.
For anyone that cares here is the set list, thumbs up…
1. 999,999 [Intro]
2. 1,000,000
3. Letting You
4. Discipline
5. March Of The Pigs
6. Head Down
7. The Frail
8. Reptile
9. Closer [The Only Time Breakdown]
10. Gave Up
11. The Warning
12. Vessel
13. Ghosts 5
14. Ghosts 17
15. Ghosts 19
16. Piggy [Ghosts]
17. The Greater Good
18. Pinion [Interlude]
19. Wish
20. Terrible Lie
21. Survivalism
22. The Big Comedown
23. Ghosts 31
24. Only
25. The Hand That Feeds
26. Head Like A Hole
—
27. Echoplex
28. God Given
29. The Good Soldier
30. Hurt
31. In This Twilight
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School is starting September first. Some of you may be familiar with Fatty Patty the Feminist Unicorn. I’d remind you but the memories only come to me in flashes like night terrors and are normally only triggered by hash browns and women with unshaven legs.
Well, as you may or may not know, every plan or way to edge away from this bitch was an epic fail so I will be returning to the shit hole that is my blatantly homosexual Artsy Fartsy Over Priced hippie bullshit Liberal Education as Fatty Patty’s roommate. *shutters*
This is what I get from her on my facebook “wall.”
What time are you planning to get to school? Because I can’t get a room key until after I register, and i’d rather not lug my bags around campus while i do that. So if you’re there, i can get into the room and then go do registration.
See you soon, roomie.
Okay, now if you are reading this Fatty Patty, through some cosmic force that somehow led you to this website, how do you think it is okay to say this?
My problem is this: How can you be so oblivious to the fact that perhaps maybe I have some luggage as well and don’t want to lug it around on campus either because I have to register first as well. That perhaps we are all human beings that don’t like to be inconvenienced.
No of course, I don’t expect her to get there early so that *I* don’t have to lug my bags around. But I think it’s a bit inconsiderate and presumptuous to ask that of me and even if you had this master plan, keep that shit to yourself like a good evil genuis, you stupid fucking fat cunt.
I really don’t get it. I mean, “There’s this land mine right in front of us and *I* don’t want to get blown up so could you be a dear and walk across Cambodia first, thanks XOXO.”
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. daihaiofhaiohoqhr91390owin ql************#####@$@(#$@($&@(#
Anyway. I’ve decided that I will destroy her. I will destroy her for three weeks then I will apply to have my room changed when we are allowed to apply to have our room changed (after three weeks obviously).
See, when you are destroying someone, it’s really the little things. I could call her fat. But she’d just think, “well I am fat 
” and then cry with a bucket of hash browns and reeses pieces (and get more fat). But I decided the best way to destroy her, is to destroy me. Simply because she has no friends, she has no one.
I was the only one that “understood” her and if I change the whole world changes- her whole world changes because there isn’t a single person left for her to “connect” with and the world is really just a sad sad place where puppies grow up to be dogs who grow old and die.
And it all starts with a slutty red dress.
For More Creative Forms of Hate Click Here For Roommate Blues 1 and 2
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