I Love Money! Who doesn’t?! Only silly goose, dirty hippies, that’s for sure! So why not have a show about people willing to do anything for it?! Why not have a show that reuses the same reality TV whores we know and love from hit shows like the Flavor of Love, the Rock of Love and I Love New York, they are clearly quite loving people from these titles?!? Vh1 says, I DUNNO, WHY THE FUCK NOT? I MEAN, WE LOVE MONEY TOO!

Then, wackiness ensues! And the greatest show in the history of EVER is created. Mmm, mmm, DEE LISH US

Midget Mac, more like Midget MAD, amirite?! The girls on this show are OUTRAGED because he says Hoops, Hoops the Estranged Brother of Ali Lohan as they share a Hot Tranny Mess Kin, Mac says Hoops has HERPES. The audacity of this negro! How dare he assume that the whores ladies from such classy shows in which they compete for the cocks, money and fame hearts of such gentlemen as Flavor Flav and rape rocker Bret Michaels, could have herpes! I mean, honestly, if UNCOUTH is a word, then by all means, these ladies and gentleboiz are COUTH, couth, indeed!

And, let’s be earnest here, only 1 and 5 people have herpes, so the chances of these strippers and porn stars that rub up and suck and fuck the same dude would have any kind of vagina disease, that is just highly unlikely, HIGHly UNlikely, SIRS AND MAH’DEMS!

But the best part is when Pumpkin, by far the ugo’est of the whores ( Hoops is a dude and Pumpkin still comes in last place) comes to Hoops’ defense. The first thing she says on the show is that she guarantees she will be hooking up with some of the guys. COUTH, indeed! She is probably sensitive to the herpes accusation because she has herpes people are always calling her a slut. Pumpkin’s main concern is that Midget Mac is degrading women. Degrading women is one thing, but calling ‘em like ya’ sees ‘em is another.

Also, Pumpkin claims to want the money so that she can get a boob job. Another girl, Megan, in response to this says she looks 40 when she is 20 and that she has saggy boobs, and Pumpkin gets pissed. I find it amazing when people get mad and dare to argue actual facts.

Moreover, Pumpkin degrades women every day, not by fucking lots of dudes, but by flapping those gums and spouting the dumb-bitch nonsense that her brain has managed to confabulate with only the knowledge of how to perform falatio and how to poorly apply eye make-up. Cover up those bags girl! You lookin’ stank!

The first challenge requires that everyone wear a bikini, including the dudes and Midget Mac just won’t do it. “eyeadoodnuhachickiainwearinnobuhkeenee,” to quote him. Megan, Dumb-Blonde-Whore-#1, the same one that said she wanted to win the $250K so that she can help retarded dogs (I am not kidding), goes first. The challenge has them stand in a little booth where money is flying around and who ever catches the money as it is blown into the booth, wins. The only rule is that you cannot pick money up off the floor. The first thing Megan does is grab money off the floor. She is dumb, it’s not shocking.

But, here’s the good part. Brandi C., Dumb-Blonde-Whore-#2, the same one that said, “finally, someone doing something good,” when Megan said she was going to help retarded dogs, goes on this rant about how she is going to win and be focused. Right after Megan grabs the money off the floor, Brandi C. walks in, grabs the money off the floor.

Wow. I don’t even have to be clever. Wow! How do you not learn something by accident from just existing? How is it possible to be THAT stupid?!

There is a recap of the show’s whole season and it looks AMAZING. I might have to do weekly reviews.

I find it interesting, as Dave NJ mentioned, that the show is so blatantly titled. In movies like Idiocracy and stories like George Saunder’s Sea Oak, the future or rather heightened reality, is made fun of as things become more blatantly obvious to cater to declining intelligence.

Subtlety is for smart people. But as the show is titled I Love Money, and the people on it are clearly retards, is the show poking fun at them because of their desperation for fame and fortune? Or is it making fun of us for insisting on watching these sad, sad, sad people be exploited? Who’s the idiot? I mean, no matter how ironic of a perception we have, we’re still watching it. And I fucking looooove it!

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Posted: July 13th, 2008 under pop culture, reality tv, reviews, stupid people.
Comments: 1