Well, I’ve been shying away from posting because this site is in a transition period, obviously. You can tell by the retardedly color-coordinated layout I have right now. Things will get better and we are on the up and up. I appreciate all of you who have offered your help and support. Any schways, I am saving the awesome post, that I haven’t even written yet, but is SUPERFANTASTIC in my head and will therefore be a terrible disappointment in written form, for whenever everything is done and settled and what-have-you.

In the mean time, let’s talk about how I shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public alone. I can be a shy person at times, but I don’t really get embarrassed about a lot of things. Like, I dunno tripping or dancing weird, whatever.

Well, what I have noticed is this: That when you are with a friend(s) and you do something silly it’s not a big deal. When you are being silly in public by yourself it’s kind of just sad. So I got this new awesome bike, its blue, is SOOOO BLUE XD and I was really excited to ride it. Mind you I have not ridden a bike in a few years, but you never forget the fucking Alamo and you never forget how to ride a fucking bike.

So once I carry this bike, that is probably larger than my body down three flights of steps because god forbid this fucking building gets an elevator, but then again all the brown people would just piss and rape in it…Well, I get on my bike for the first time and I realize that the seat is tooo high even though it was adjusted to it’s lowest level.

My leetle feets are scraping on their tippy toes to reach the ground as I try to start riding and of course I am crashing into trees, fences, people, UFOs, Lebron James…and NATCH this retarded girl is watching me the whole time. Just blatantly stopped what she was doing about 12-14 years old, in the middle of the street, watching me be an idiot…I am not embarrassed, BUT, there’s this whole new pressure to perform, like I have an audience, like I have to fucking grow 4 more inches of height in a split second and ride off into the sunset or rather the post office to mail out these stickers….

The point is, I suck, so after 20 minutes of trying to get the bike back up stairs I run to the post office before it closes and of course the fucking stamp dispenser doesn’t work and I don’t have time to wait on a mother fucking line so I end up buying stamps from the store and they up the price about 888888% …

“How much is that?”

“Nine hundred thousand dollars, Miss.”

“Well, I don’t want to have to wait in line…SOLD!”

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Posted: June 25th, 2008 under I'm a Vagina McVaginastein, cunt.
Comments: 1