So… Turns out, I am not a ninja. I went down to Union Square to continue the Whore Me 2008 Campaign. I got a bunch of stickers and was all psyched!

“Yes mwuhahahaha, I will whore my blog with glee and use my catlike abilities to pounce my stickers onto flashy objects in high-traffic areas! Then I will be the biggest blog in THE WORLD!” I say, shaking my fists to the Heavens, as a homeless man suspiciously caresses my knee. Normally, I would be disgusted by the thought of a poor person within a 2.5 mile circumference of my personal space, but I was in a good mood so we made out for a few hours.

“TALLEY HO!” I yell, as the police segue the homeless man away for sexing a minor. Little did he know, I poked holes in the condom…

Anywaaaaaaaaaay

I walk about Union Square with a sticker in one hand and my self respect in the other! Which would I be willing to give up to promote Maggots and Tenderloin? Both!!!!!! For every ninja knows the Empire comes before one’s self.

I go to the most obvious areas, traffic lights, subway carts… And each time as I am about to smack one of these lovely stickers onto the pole, I notice there are people EVERYWHERE, it is broad daylight… I AM A VANDAL. They could REVOKE MY MEMBERSHIP TO THE NATIONAL HONOR SOCIETY FOR THIS!!!!! NoooooOOOOOOooooo they’ll take my yellow SASH, but it’s soooo yellow….

I pussied out. Some of you may recall me being a Vagina McVaginastein so it’s not surprising…

I ended up putting 3 stickers in 3 bicycle baskets and feeling guilty about that. I SWEAR TO GOD YOUR HONOR I WASN’T LITTERING I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GARBAGE CAN AND A BASKET (bicycle baskets are more gay lololol).

So on my way home, in the subway train, I tried the ole’ leave-a-sticker-on-a-seat-and-see-if-any-one-gives-a-shit! Turns out– THEY DON’T!

“WTF IS THIS?!” *Throws on floor* Bitch that sticker cost money!

P.S. In case you were wondering I ended up canceling my account for hosting with Powweb after 900 more problems arisen. Hopefully the site will make it’s move at some point this week, mother fuck.

Also if anyone has any suggestions for a good place to get Fake IDs I’d appreciate it…. >_> <_<

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Posted: June 22nd, 2008 under I'm a Vagina McVaginastein.
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